


Poster Child

by andmydog



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-14
Updated: 2009-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-04 10:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andmydog/pseuds/andmydog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge: The difficulties of getting laid when no-one even knows you're seeing each other. During the journey. All sorts of inventive approaches are tried, with... variable success. Gojyo really needs to get laid. Hakkai is frustratingly cool about the whole thing. Or maybe just does a better job of pretending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poster Child

**1\. Post-Banri**  
It was one of those winter nights where having both blankets on the same bed was more important than sleeping apart with their respective corpses... and while Gojyo, heat-seeking, was wrapped around Hakkai's side and Hakkai, just as cold, had his face buried in Gojyo's hair, Gojyo's long fingers _weren't_ creeping up under Hakkai's shirt, and Hakkai _wasn't_ easing Gojyo's legs apart with his thigh, because this wasn't happening. Gojyo didn't arch beneath Hakkai's touch, then, and Hakkai didn't whisper anything into Gojyo's neck, because they weren't doing this.   
And afterward, breathless and finally warm, they didn't do it again.

**2\. Post-Shunrei**  
There was probably something deeply fucked up about leaning over and watching your best friend sleep. Of course, there was also probably something deeply fucked up about jerking off while your whoever-he-was _watched_ you sleep... _especially_ while stuck beneath a snoring monkey, but Hakkai was weird like that. Then Hakkai's breath had finally caught (dangerously loud, too, with Baldy _right there_), and it'd felt like a reward to be offered fingers to lick clean... although _that_ was one thought Gojyo was staying _far_ away from, thanks.  
Stiff neck – among other things – aside, he'd slept amazingly well. Maybe _weird_ was contagious.

**3\. Post-Chin Yisou**  
For one second, Gojyo thought he was fucked. Then Hakkai _smiled_, and he amended that to _gonna be_ fucked.

"I do apologise," Hakkai murmured, "but I watched you die yesterday." He traced the new skin over Gojyo's heart (and Gojyo was fairly certain that shouldn't make him hard). "Serious injuries require considerable follow-up attention, wouldn't you agree?"

Gojyo _absolutely_ agreed, but before he could suggest _styles_ of attention, an exhausted and irate monk slammed into the room, babbling monkey in tow.

He was already pinned to the wall, Gojyo figured, so he might as well beat his head against it, too.

**4\. Post-scorpion**  
"Hey." Hakkai smiled tightly, shrugging off Gojyo's hand. "_Hey._ It's only been three days. ...And if I'm less interestin' than an unconscious monk, I'm gonna be seriously put out."

"If you reinjure yourself, _I'm_ going to be seriously put out." Gojyo huffed, leaning into him until Hakkai pushed back. "Stop this."

"Sorry, fine, if you're not in th'mood..."

"Gojyo." _I'll feel worthless._ "I'm afraid I can't give you what you want."

Gojyo snorted, shaking his head. "You're kiddin', right?" _You already have._

The monkey burst in, alternately laughing and panicking, and Gojyo decided he was never getting laid ever again.

**5\. Post-Kinkaku**  
"Gojyo... wait."

"Was _wonderin'_ if... heh. Guess my smile's not as good as yours, huh?"

"Not even close. You know he'll leave without you."

"He coulda been a little more obvious about it. Fuckin' monk."

"The speech wasn't for you."

"I _did_ figure that part out, thanks. It's th'same story as always. Th'monkey doesn't notice, th'monk doesn't _care_, and you..."

"And I don't stop you."

"...Helluva time to start."

"Would you _let_ me stop you?"

"Don't think I'm gonna answer that one, sorry."

"In that case, I suppose I'll 'catch ya later'."

"...You are _seriously_ weird. You know that, right?"

*****************************************************************************  
**Post-Zakuro   
**  
"God _fucking_ dammit, Hakkai, all I fucking want to do is blow ya! What the hell's the problem?!"

"Problem?" Hakkai smiled politely, turning his back to Gojyo and continuing to putter, shutting Gojyo down completely. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you—"

"Cut the bullshit." Gojyo snorted. Hakkai hmmed in response, and Gojyo ran a hand through his hair to avoid smashing it into the back of Hakkai's head, then took a deep breath and tried to make _that_ image go far, far away. "You're hard as a fuckin' rock, and you've been starin' at me since the sun went down." He fished a cigarette from his pocket, watching Hakkai out of the corner of his eye as he blew a lungful of smoke at the dingy ceiling. "Didn't take you for a tease."

"There's a great deal about me you don't know, Gojyo," Hakkai replied conversationally, and yeah, _that_ was the fucking truth. He didn't know a damn thing about this man, with his glass eye and his glass smile and a dead woman's hand twined around his heart. Hell, he didn't know why _he_ cared so fucking much about the corpse he'd found in the road, about the guy who had a smile for everyone so long as the skies were clear, whose feet never touched the ground and whose smile never touched his eyes. Didn't know what he'd expected, really, bringing all this shit up in the first place, but the image of a hundred days of staring at the back of Hakkai's head as he drove followed by a hundred nights of watching him sleep across the room was more than Gojyo thought he could deal with. Better just get this out, end it quick and clean – whatever _it_ was – and then they could get back to pretending that everything was friendly and comfortable. Right. Friendly and comfortable, any second now.

"Gojyo? ..._Gojyo_."

"...What?"

Hakkai glanced pointedly at the spray of ash clinging to Gojyo's sleeve, his teacher-knows-best smile firmly in place. "You're making a mess."

Oh, fuck this. Fuck this hard. "I'm beginnin' to see that." Gojyo ground his cigarette out with a harsh half-twist, snagging his jacket off the back of the chair and heading for the door. "Catch ya later, then."

"Oh? Where are you going?" His tone was barely curious, and for a moment Gojyo was tempted to just ignore him, to storm out (_walk_ out, just fucking _leave_... he was a big boy and he sure as hell didn't need _Hakkai's_ permission), find some hole-in-the-wall with good beer, dim lights, and a beautiful woman to get lost in, stumble in at dawn and to hell with his hangover, they'd be getting a late start anyway, and Hakkai could just read his fucking book or whatever the hell else he wanted to do, because _he_ was gonna go get _laid_.

Shit.

Cursing himself for being fifteen different kinds of fool, Gojyo let his hand drop from the knob and leaned back against the door, a picture of casual decadence. "Out to find someone who _does_ want me," he commented dryly. One more try. And one more, and one more after that. "'Less, of course, you got a good reason why I shouldn't?" He gazed at Hakkai from beneath his lashes, thumb hooked in the waistband of his pants and the patented Sha charm turned up full blast. Hakkai, for his part, just smiled placidly.

"I'd like to think that the current threat to the safety of all _four_ of us is a _very_ good reason to stay in tonight."

Sometimes Gojyo swore that Hakkai was made of stone. "Anyone who pisses Baldy off tonight isn't gonna have much time for regrets, Kou and them included. And same goes for the monkey."

"Ah. Of course," Hakkai agreed amiably, and Gojyo had the feeling that he'd missed something. It pissed him off. "Nevertheless, we should _all_ attempt to get some rest. It's been a trying day for—"

"I said cut the bullshit!" The snores drifting in from the far wall sputtered, and Gojyo bit his tongue until he tasted iron. "M'not a complete moron."

That got Hakkai's attention, at least. "No, you aren't," he frowned, folding his arms across his chest. Attentive pose number three, with the I'm-listening-and-I-_care_ smile. Gojyo suddenly felt very tired. "Gojyo, I'm afraid I don't--"

"Then quit treatin' me like one!" He winced at the desperation in his voice, snapping his lighter shut. This was _not_ the way his night was supposed to go. "As unthinkable as it is that someone might not want the great Sha Gojyo-sama," he smirked, turning the warm metal over and over in his hand, watching the lights reflected on its surface, "if you don't want to screw around, then just say you don't." Quick and clean, he reminded himself. "But god _dammit_ Hakkai, you've gotta quit fuckin' _wanting_ me all th'time! Quit brushing me off, and then giving me grief like you're my fuckin'... like I'm your... just, stop it. Please." Through the curtain of his hair, Hakkai looked far too far away, his half-smile slipping crookedly. He hurt to look at.

"How does one quit wanting, Gojyo?"

_I'll tell you when I figure it out, how's that?_ "You know someone's eventually gonna notice if we keep flirtin' about like this." _So unless you _want_ that kind of attention, you have to quit looking at me like you want t'eat me alive._

"Ah. Is that what we've been doing." It didn't really feel like a question, and Gojyo didn't really feel like answering. He sat heavily on the foot of the bed instead, staring blankly at the wall across from him. The monkey was as loud asleep as he was awake, and Gojyo wondered distantly how the hell Sanzo was managing to sleep at all before deciding he really didn't give a shit. He sucked hard on his cigarette, grimacing at the taste of filter, and reached behind him to stab the butt end out. _See, ma? Using the ashtray like a good boy._ Hakkai was standing far too close when he turned back. And the monk said _he_ had no sense of personal space. Baldy didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

Hakkai's hands were folded loosely over each other, just at the edge of Gojyo's range of vision. Oh, this was gonna be bad.

"I believe I owe you an apology, Gojyo."

...Okay, not so bad yet. "What?"

"Sanzo is finally asleep," Hakkai stated, apropos of nothing, and Gojyo watched, dumbfounded, as he delicately placed his monocle on the endtable then dropped gracefully to his knees. "We've been so distracted lately that I thought it best to wait until he was beyond noticing such things, don't you?"

"You..." Hakkai's words finally clicked. "You bastard. You're not gonna tell me that all that was just you puttin' on a show for the monk."

"Not entirely." Hakkai responded, the affection and pride in his voice almost painful. "You're very smart, you know." He smoothed the ball of his thumb over Gojyo's eyebrow, combing his hair away from his face, and Gojyo had to close his eyes. "And very beautiful.."

"I'm not—"

"..._And_, it would appear that I was mistaken." There was something in Hakkai's eyes – both of 'em, but that was just one more of those things Gojyo tried not to think about – that hadn't been there before, something that warned against asking too many questions. He couldn't resist licking his lips, though, as his reflection wavered, shifting into a look Gojyo had never seen there before but would recognize anywhere.

"Um," he began, voice rough, unable to stop the shiver as Hakkai tracked his tongue's movement with predatory precision. "You, um... fuck."

"An excellent suggestion," Hakkai agreed, and kissed him.

 

*****************************************************************************  
**Post-mortem**  
It was so easy to love Gojyo.   
He didn't just crave it. He drew it to him, summoned it with his flashing looks and friendly hands, and his heart worn so prominently on his sleeve. He made you want it.  
He was very good at that.  
So it was so easier than breathing to damn himself with a kiss, to damn himself again and draw Gojyo in with a smile. Easy to swallow him deep, to lay him back and peel him apart, to straddle him slowly, kissing away what he knew weren't really tears. To throw his head back and _ride_, breathless and blind, for Gojyo _was_ good at _this_, too. Easy to damn himself a third time and turn Gojyo over, to pin him facedown in the mattress and _fuck_ him, hard and steady, until his eyes rolled up white and he collapsed on the shredded sheets, sated to purring. Easy to hold him close and let him hide for awhile, safe. So easy to give him what he needed – easier still to give him what he _wanted_ – to be his companion, his mother, confidant, friend. And if Gojyo, for some reason, wanted Hakkai's heart? Then it was his. Willingly. Completely. Without reservation. He could never calculate the amount he owed this man, and if he wanted – needed – Hakkai to whisper true things into his hair and kiss away his scars, well. How easy was that?

With a heart this small, loving was so easy he could puke.

****************************************************************************  
**Post-script**  
Goku rolled over, careful of his ribs, still snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Snoring loud enough that Sanzo could hear him, even with his head all clogged up from falling in the river. Snoring loud enough that Sanzo could sleep, and that thought made a something deep inside Goku roll up into a little ball and purr.  
Snoring this loudly also meant that he hadn't had to listen to Hakkai and the stupid kappa screwing each other's brains out, but that was all right too, the little purring voice said. Things were almost where they should be again.


End file.
